Old school Love ❤️

Hello readers or should I say lovers 😉, Have you experienced love recently? A question out of nowhere! 😃 I just wanted to talk about how love have evolved in the recent years than it used to be. How everyone expects a lot more or a lot less from love at the present times. The best thing about love is, it’s what you believe in. Now, what’s love for me may not be love for you. Mostly, it might not be same for our parents as well. When we ask our parents about love and how they met, very often we have heard it was an ‘arranged marriage’. Haven’t we? But behind this answer, there are a lot of things that our parents did for eachother which was not arranaged.

I know we love the idea of being independent and making our own money, but have you ever noticed how our parents shared the money inspite of one of them making it? They never named it yours or mine. They meant it when they said it is ‘ours’. I know our parents never showed their love infront of us but have you ever noticed our mothers cooking our father’s favourite food to make him happy and not miss his mother? To give the warmth of love in a bowl of curry. I know it’s not big of an effort but it is a gesture,a gesture of love and respect for eachother.

Being independent have made things easy in a relationship, and I do not doubt it, but have you ever done something as easy as picking up you partner from office or from airport not because they cannot do it by themselves but because you wanted to, like our fathers used to do for our mothers. It doesn’t make your partners dependent but it makes them see that you have their back. ❤️

Have you ever tried holding your partners luggage on a trip, make them comfortable in thier seats and take care of them just like a baby not because they are one but because you want them to rest after all the things that they do for you , to show gratitude and gratefulness to them, like our fathers used to do for our mothers.

Now, I do not know if we would be lucky to experience that kind of love but when we get it let us ensure that we double it for our partner, and that would be us being grateful to our partner. After all, Love is not about big efforts and big surprises,it is and it has always been an amalgamation of small gestures that we do for our partners. Love isn’t about proposing them in front of Eiffel tower🗼, It’s about meaning what you say even if it is in a corner of your house where you are preparing tea for your partner while it is raining outside like our fathers used to for our mothers. ❤️ or maybe vice-versa 😉

With love
Mamita ❤️

The next chapter!

Hey hello there! So, the year ends here! What a roller coaster it has been. Ya! I know, I know, Long time, no see. Haven’t wrote in a while but this year have taught me a lot of things.So, let me share my feelings with you and let me know in the comments if our feelings are mutual?

Another year full of adventures, travelling and experiences. I have mixed feelings about this year. You know december is my favourite time of the year. It doesn’t have one particular reason, it’s the cold wave that touches my face that feels so fresh, it’s the shorter days and the longer nights, the blanket and the hot coffee that reminds me that, well! I lived another year. December is not just a month but a celebration for me. The nostalgia that gives me of Foggy sports days in my school, the ice cream cone after my tution and the winter night walks with my favourite people. December reminds me the best part of my childhood. You may relate to any other form of happiness over the year like winter is for me.

Well in the rush of our lives, the race of which we have become a part unknowingly , we all are definely forgetting those feelings. Aren’t we? We all have lots on our check list to be completed in certain timeline, keeping ourselves unneccesarily occupied. It would have been so nice if we would have stopped following and comparing eachother’s timeline and accepted the fact that everyone has their own timeline, own pace to acheive in life. It’s not a competion, it’s not a destination either rather it is the journey you had matters.

This year started with self-doubt, confusion and restlessness. you know that feeling of getting stuck and not able to move forward? well! I felt the same about my job. Being an ambitious person, unable to navigate my career made me feel clueless and worthless. But here I am grateful for the people around me who uplifted my spirit and helped me to sail through this storm.Haha! Dramatic enough? Yes? No? Maybe?

Well we all have been a lot through out the year! Haven’t we? Well, the best part is that we all are here in december, overcame and enjoyed whatever came our way and lived through the year. I am proud of you and you should also feel the same about yourself.

The next year which is 2024 has a lot of surprises may be bad or may be good or maybe it might not feel anything but today let us promise ourselves to do better than we did this year. Be kind to others but most importantly to ourselves, empathetic towards others but also understand and accept that we are doing our best. It is now time that we acknowledge that some things are not in our hands and we need to forgive ourselves before anyone else to be at peace. Hoping this new year brings a lot of self awarness and self acceptance and may we all find peace with in ourselves and feel content with our lives. Let us promise ourselves to keep learning and growing no matter what!

To the people who have always been there for me! Thank you! and people who left, Thank you!
So, here we are, the year ends here! What a roller coaster it has been.


Failure? No. The stepping stone.

Have you all ever experienced failure ? Failure in terms of academics, sports, or you may say some activity you like or above all , “your dreams”? Failure seems to have impact on everything we do even when we don’t want it to have any impact. See, when failure strikes us when we believed we’ve done enough for the success is worst. Accepting it and moving on is hard. But is that going to help us anyways? NO. Is this going to be undone? NO. Then I think we should take a deep dive into something called the ” Reversal of mistakes”. Every unique mistake have got a very unique result or you may say failure.

Reversal of Mistakes.

Let’s have some reality check.

Reality check 1: Do you know why we fail? we do not fail because we didn’t give any effort but because we did not channelize it towards the right thing. We couldn’t see the red flags. Actually we ignored the green ones . Taking us back to our preparation times. Did we really listen to our problems? Did we realize where the efforts are needed? We have ignored it thinking its a small part. what impact it would even have? But remember every mistake you commit. you have to pay for it. Mistakes come with a price and the price is failure.

Reality check 2: We realize the reasons of our failure but we hardly actually accept it and suppose, we accept it we don’t really act upon it. This is even worse than not able to know which are green and which are red flags. Accepting isn’t the ultimate but the penultimate. Acting upon is the ultimate goal.

You must be thinking tell us about the ” reversal of mistakes”. How do we undo it? but to be honest there’s no such thing as reversal of mistakes. What’s done is done. Yes of course we cannot change what has already happened but we can definitely avoid the same mistakes. I know some exam or an activity doesn’t really define our whole being but are we ready to accept that?

Failure questions your being but when it does it also defines our value for success. Failure isn’t something that pulls us down but is something that lifts us up but also keeps us grounded. Failure builds our character. It gives us empathy. Empathy is greatest of all tool which we get through failure and no form of success can give us that. Accepting failure and acting upon the mistakes are success in itself . Its called growth and that’s what we seek out of Success. Isn’t it ?

“Failure isn’t something which is desired of but it is something which is necessary.”

-Mamita Mallick

lots of love ❤

Attachments and insecurities.

I don’t know if you could have the same thought as I do but I believe attachments and insecurities are two sides of one coin. These two terms are directly proportional to eachother. The more you’re attached to someone or something,the more you have the insecurities. You try to protect them,hide them somewhere safe and most probably fight with others for them.

Insecurities are both constructive and destructive. As the saying goes,nothing in excess is healthy. Insecurities beyond expectations are always toxic. We assume insecurities are the sign of pure love. But I question do you not trust your own love enough to not be insecure about something or someone? Or do you think they deserve better than you? What exactly are you insecure about?

I know it’s easier said than done but for a change let me question do you really really need to over protect someone that it feels stuck in your love. Taking forward the relationship between the attachment and the insecurities. Attachments that we experience from childhood are the root cause of insecurities. Someone who have gone through tragedy during childhood would always freak out for that thing.Because the fear always sets in in a child’s mind and usually end up developing inferiority complex.we start to assume and approve everything according to our past experiences .There are very few people who are able to surpass the energies of past but there are many individuals all over the world who are still stuck in their bitter past.

The way we’re bought up,the environment we survived in, all have some or other impact on our future. We are all surrounded with our experiences. But let’s be fair with the person we love. He or she may not have the same experiences ,same past.They may not be comfortable with what we are comfortable with. Let’s give them enough space to live in, support and respect them for what they stand for, respect their decisions and most importantly respect them and their freedom as a human being. ❤️

—Mamita Mallick

Lots of love ❤️

Dear Ex

You know what I don’t find any point on writing a whole blog on you. But I am writing a blog for someone who could relate this, For them whom I could comfort by giving them company in their sadness that every ex have given to their ex.

Starting from the day you leave saying that we ain’t worthy of your love to the day we realize that you ain’t worthy of anyone’s love. We go through a rollercoaster of feelings, fall into depression the hell lot deeper where no one could drag us out but we ourselves.

When you leave us abandoned,used and depressed we don’t blame you,rather we blame ourselves for not being enough for you instead of realising how unworthy you are for the try. I have no bitter feelings for you,even better? I don’t want to have any feelings for you. I would never have love but I would not waste my hate on you. So chill.

You never blame yourself for cheating on us but start giving explanations for how we are not made for eachother. Do you even respect yourself enough to atleast speak truth to your own soul?? Do you even realize that saying someone ugly and unworthy is a hurtful thing? Do you?

Ahh no you don’t and that being the reason behind you being the ex and not the present. Since childhood I have learnt to thank everything and everyone that teaches you lessons and gives you strength. I would ofcourse thank you for giving me pain which is the biggest strength I could ever have.

We learn to deal with the pain,know our worth and never look back for the unworthy people like you.May be you’re worthy for someone else , something else but you’re definitely not worthy of our love,care and respect. Do you realise using someone when you need them is not loving them rather it’s exploiting them.

To the one going through pain and need support.please stop blaming yourselves. you’re much more worthy than you think. Realisation is all you need. Loving yourself is more important than being loved by the other.I know it’s difficult but its worth a try. Trust me you’re going to be ok someday and thank god for everything happened. 🌹

–Mamita Mallick

Lots of love ❤️💕

Taking someone for granted and being taken for granted.

I assume it’s a fact that everyone of us have been taken for granted and have taken someone for granted on some point of time. Whether or not you agree with me but you would definitely agree with yourself. Am I right?

Even more, we all have taken ourselves for granted at most of the times. We have all forgot about loving ourselves before loving someone else,kept us in the last priority while fitting others in the first.Its not that we have been body shamed by others but we have ourselves body shamed us at times. Ignoring our self-care and self -respect the zillion times and just focusing on adding the people we think are productive to our life. We expect others to bring love , support,care and respect for us instead of doing it ourselves.No, I don’t blame you for doing that. That’s what makes us human right? Because humans often have expectations at peak when it’s especially from others. But for a change can we just do those cool little things for ourselves and stop expecting for and from others. And stop TAKING OURSELVES FOR GRANTED.

Everyone of us will know the pain of being taken for granted.Because that happens when we realize that we have overdone things.we realise things not working out the ways we wanted it to be. That is when we realize the things are not meant to be and that is when we know the true colours of someone when we assumed to know everything about that person.

Have you ever wondered ,what must be going on in the mind of the person who’s taking someone for granted.I guess the mighty feeling they get ,the pleasure they get out of our attention and the realisation of never getting ignored or left out by the person who’s giving efforts to that relationship gives them enough power to proceed with these things and which usually takes away the mental peace of the other.

It’s very painful and difficult to overcome the level of anger,frustration,sadness and the underwhelmed feeling when you realise you are being taken for granted. May be you don’t dare to accept the truth sometimes.you start to underestimate yourselves, Dive into depression without even knowing and start to loose your appetite.

I am no expert to guide you through the depression but a victim could ofcourse suggest the other victims. Right?

Keeping yourself positive is near to impossible thing. The uncountable positive quotes,jokes, stories, articles you read would help you survive through out the day but at night you tend to soften and run back to that person.But that is a big mistake. No,I am not suggesting to break a relationship and just run away because a relationship is build with all the efforts and time. But you need to realise your own worth.Look back somewhere you are valued and preserved not where you are used. Differentiate between what you need and what you want. What will make you strong is thinking “ONLY YOU CAN HEAL YOURSELF,AND NO ONE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR HEALING”. Repeat this every single time you want to go back somewhere you are taken for granted. May be the memories rush ,you feel weak mentally and physically both.but keep reminding yourself you’re worthy ❤️

Be your own first love ,

Date yourselves first ❤️💕

—Mamita Mallick

Lots of love ❤️

A LETTER TO MY BOYFRIEND.

Dear boyfriend,

This letter which I have written with all my love and care is to let you know that i love you to the moon and back. Starting from our day 1 you have been making me feel special by your efforts of staying by my side from my happiness to my sadness. From the sunshine to the sunset. Your presence makes me feel the happiest. you have been there with me all this time even when I’m intolerable. Thank you for cooling me down when i was not able to hold back my anger. Thank you for wiping my tears away and I can’t thank you enough for being the reason behind my smile.

I’m glad you were able to show me the real you. I’m glad you didn’t heasitate to cry on my shoulders and saying me that I was the one you wanted to LIVE WITH and LIVE FOR. Thank you for appreciating me for every single effort I made for you.Thank you for giving equal importance to your and my decisions and thank you for motivating me towards my goals and ambitions.You have always supported me for my passions and interests even when you weren’t really into it for which I can’t thank you enough.

Here it is to appreciate you, my love for being real to yourself as well as to other people around you. Thank you for handling my tantrums.Thank you for everything.I wish you all the happiness in the world.

HEY READERS OUT THERE. LIKE MY POST “A LETTER TO MY BOYFRIEND” IF YOU ALL ALSO RELATE TO THIS.AND ALSO SUGGEST WHAT TOPICS SHOULD I WRITE ON NEXT.ALSO DONOT FORGET TO SHARE THIS TO YOUR SPECIAL ONE TO MAKE THEIR DAY SPECIAL.

WITH LOVE
_ Mamita Mallick
_Blogger_by_choice_

ESSENCE OF LOVE

LOVE,a feeling which according to me cannot be described but felt,which cannot be defined or put in words but can be absorbed from the morning breeze,can be seen in a child’s laugh,can be felt on mothers lap and fathers arm.Love is the keyword to the solution of every problem,love can change a gangster into a gentlemen and vice versa.The deeper you feel the love ,the deeper you feel the pain.It’s just directly proportional.Lets discuss the different kinds of love that a person feels through out his life.

LOVE OF MOTHER

A mother is a perfect combination of boldness-calmness and a perfect mix of innocence-truthfulness and a perfect blend of care-support.

In short a mother is the perfect form of love in this world full of imperfections.A baby experiences a mother’s love from the moment it is created in her womb and she loves her child unconditionally no matter what life gives.

LOVE OF FATHER

The ultimate form of unconditional love and respect.A father is the absolute example for his children s about the selflessness and kindness of love.The love without any expectations but hope.The love which should be two way equally but a father always gives more and takes less,which teaches us about the love without condition and with sacrifices.

LOVE OF SIBLINGS

A tom and jerry relation as we all know.Shouting on them to die but praying for them to be safe.This love is rather directly proportional to the fights .Even though you fight with them but you love them even more.From Beating each other for silly things to standing like wall infront of world to protect them.This love grows irrationally and unconditionally with time.

A LIFE PARTNER’S LOVE

This love is felt by a every person once in a lifetime at least.Teenage is the age when we usually feel the adrenaline rush.It all starts with a crush,like and love them for rest of your life .This kind of love can be one sided or may be the lucky ones get two sided.This love is the combination of all the three above loves. A partners loves strengthens you,motivates you and also supports you and above all liberates you.It is purely based on partnership both in good and bad times.If you find someone who sacrifices for you,aspires you and makes you a better person never let them go.

True Love has always been about unconditional love like father’s love,safe love like mother’s love ,strong love like sibling’s love and partnership like life partner’s love.I have always believed “LOVE IS NEVER WRONG .BUT A PERSON CAN BE”.(from ” FEW THINGS LEFT USAID”-SUDEEP NAGARKAR. So never blame love for your wrong descisions on love because when its right it stays forever and heals you and when it’s wrong it also destroys you.

Mamita Mallick

Inferiority complex

It’s hard to define your feelings when it comes about your whereabouts in life. The situation where you cannot find yourself. The situation where there’s haste to hate everyone around even though if it’s you.. !

Not able to speak to anyone,not able to introspect ,just feeling low ,even if breathing seems worthless.

You constantly ask yourself. who I am infront of him/her? He/she has what she /he wanted.what do I have?? The situation where you start hating yourself for who you are.Where you feel worthless as compared to the person you compare yourself and where you want to end everything.. !!

“Comparison isn’t lethal… But it’s fatal when it exceeds limits.” When it starts hurting you… there’s an imperative need to stop comparing yourself. Comparison has positive and negative impacts… It rests totally on individual choices…

There are 2 kinds of People.. !!

1.Who absorb the negativities and reflect positivity.

2.Who Reflect negativities and absorb positivity.

The former is lethal where as the later is harmless… In the former case the person allows the negativities to cover up the positive vibes… Whereas the later allows the postivity to whitewash the negativities.

It’s an individual choice and right to choose the right path of life. To get their life straight to the destination they proffered.

Stop comparing with others.Compare your present self with your previous self instead.This takes you towards the light of life and away from the darkness deception.